Justin

Take the leap — Justin's story

If you've got the time and a home, you've got what it takes. It's worth it for you and it's worth it for them.

While it was his ex-partner who initially floated the idea, it was Justin who took the leap to becoming a foster carer — a decision which would set him on an incredibly rewarding adventure.

As a single, gay male in his thirties, Justin's options when it came to fatherhood were limited and foster caring was an obvious introduction to the challenging but rewarding aspects of caring for children.

“Being a carer has actually opened my eyes more to what's involved with having kids, and I think it's better prepared me to possibly in the future raise my own and do what's right by them,” he acknowledges.

Justin hit the ground running providing emergency care for two boys which quickly became a long-term placement, sparking his desire to help as many children as he could.

“I started off caring for the boys longer-term, knowing we were aiming for reunification. Once they were settled and were at a point where we could have other kids in the house, I decided to start taking on respite care as well.”

Taking on new children — whether that just be for a weekend — is a worthwhile experience.

“It's sometimes about putting the kids' faith back into adults, because they may have only known adults as people who aren't trustworthy or safe,” Justin explains.

“It's just a matter of sitting down and doing something with them — whether it's arts and crafts or playing with toys — just getting down on their level and letting them know you're a safe person.”

One of Justin's fears before commencing his foster care journey was being able to ensure his own financial stability while supporting the children in his care — an apprehension which was quickly addressed when learning about the financial support available for carers.

“There is support available to allow you to support the children in your care and afford to put the kids in day-care while you go to work, for example,” he says.

He is also a champion of asking for assistance, whether that be seeking out training to deal with difficult behavioural challenges or leaning on his support officer for help when he needs to work late and is unable to pick the kids up from school.

“In the beginning it was daunting because, as a single person with a full-time job, I didn't have that support there,” he reflects.

“But as soon as I spoke up, everybody just came together to help. The school, the department and my support agency all working together to get the best outcome for the boys — that's our aim.

“Just asking your support officer for help can open up so many doors. They can find you training for so many different situations, or you can do online training.”

Justin also recognises the importance of managing his own needs for the benefit of himself and the children in his care.

“My support workers are good —they'll always ask if I need respite and ask about how I'm feeling. Respite is there for whenever you need it — for when you're run-down or tired, or just need a break. They step in to give you a hand and you get to go and do your own thing.”

As an LGBTIQ+ foster carer, Justin is adamant about reassuring other members of his community that his sexuality has never been a roadblock when it comes to connecting with the kids in his care or dealing with his support network.

“Being gay doesn't really factor into any of it. The whole team that works together with you is fully supportive no matter what your sexuality is or your relationships status — so long as you can provide a happy and healthy home.”

Nothing has prepared Justin for the emotional satisfaction of being able to give children in need a safe and happy space to call home.

“It's been life-changing for me,” he admits.

“There's hard times but seeing the growth when the kids go from what they were to what they are now is so fulfilling.”

And although he and his extended family treat the boys as their own family, Justin notes the importance of helping the children get back to their biological families.

“They're not replacement kids and you aren't adopting them — they're foster kids. The aim is to get them back home,” he says.

“You love them as much as you can but if they've got to go home, they've got to go home.”

Having watched his journey as a foster carer, Justin's sister is currently going through the process of becoming a kinship carer to be able to help out with short breaks (respite) care in the future.